MULLET OVER BY JAMES K. WHITE  |  March 16, 2016

Ripoffphily



james k white

Humans are the only animals that can make fists. Primates such as gorillas and chimpanzees have fingers that are too long and thumbs that are too short for fist-making. However, the advantage of proper finger and thumb folding should not deceive any macho human into believing he could whip up on a gorilla, etc.

A human that can bench press 700 pounds is an exceptionally strong person while experts concur that a fully grown male gorilla could bench press 4,000 pounds – with relative ease. Some nectar-feeding bats and the plants on which they feed have become so dependent on each other that the loss of either the plants or the bats would likely doom the dependent plant/animal species to extinction. This relationship is called chiroterophily (pronounced “chiroterophily”).

The rapport is said to be similar to that of lawyers and legislators (called ripoffphily). On June 29, 1975 a man named Steve typed on a keyboard and for the first time ever (with no offense aimed at any former vice presidents) – what was typed on the keyboard appeared on a personal computer screen. Wozniak had given birth to the whole new realm called desktop computers. The Apple I was born. Only 66 of these devices are known to have survived these last 40 years.

One was recently dropped off at a recycling center in the San Francisco area. It laid in a pile unrecognized for two weeks and was scheduled to be junked /discarded when some old time employee stood with eyes wide open and mouth agape as he spied the piece which was quickly sold to a collector of old computers for $200,000.  The recycling center has publicly offered half of the proceeds to the original donor if she can present herself and supply a few details of information as evidence of identity.

The first part of 1956 found one Elvis Presley driving a truck for a $1/hour. By New Year’s Eve of 1956, The King’s musical career had boomed and his net worth exceeded one million dollars back when that was a lot of money. 

Alexander Graham Bell presented his phone to the public in February of 1876. By the year’s end, the cumbersome devices (which involved jars of acid) delivered messages that were compromised and distorted by static.

Only a few dozen phones were made by 1877. Bell and his engineers soon made great improvements in sound quality. By 1886, 150,000 phones were in use in the U.S. and the number surpassed 1,000,000 in the year 1900. I wonder when those annoying sales-pitch calls began.

Well, if you are now driving a truck – take heart and keep singing. I wish you a Hunka Hunka Burning Love and a fantastic week.

James White is a retired mathematics teacher who enjoys sharing fascinating trivia. He can be reached at [email protected].