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March 16, 2016

Have pun with these!  

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking  

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before  

Practice safe eating – always use condiments  

Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death  

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy  

A hangover is the wrath of grapes  

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play  

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?  

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion  

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red  

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I  

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired  

What's the definition of a will? It's a dead give away  

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana  

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes  

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off  

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion  

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed  

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress  

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered  

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it  

Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under  

Every calendar's days are numbered  

A lot of money is tainted – taint yours and taint mine  

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat  

He had a photographic memory that was never developed  

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large  

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall  

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis  

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses  

Acupuncture is a jab well done