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If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Be here now.  Be someplace else later.  Is that so complicated? 

Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a Danish.

Wherever you go, there you are.  Your luggage is another story.

Accept misfortune as a blessing.  Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems.  What would you talk about?

There is no escaping karma.  In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited.  And whose fault was that?

Zen is not easy.  It takes effort to attain nothingness.  And then what do you have?  Bupkis.

Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.