Aphorisms

It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.

We have enough ‘youth’. How about a fountain of ‘smart’?

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

Learn from your parents' mistakes … Use birth control.

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

The latest survey shows three out of four people make up 75% of the population.

You know why a banana is like a politician? He comes in and first he is green, then he turns yellow, and then he's rotten.

I think Congressmen should wear uniforms, you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors.

The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they passed.