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fEBRUARY 25, 2015

Some Monday morning humor

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A Madrid bird sanctuary sent several whooping cranes to a facility in Alaska. Upon landing, it was so cold at the airport that most of the birds refused to disembark. Word soon spread that the cranes from Spain stayed mainly on the plane.

Some people marry for love, others for wealth. That's why it is called match-or-money.

The Irish lass was disappointed with the engagement ring from her fiancé because it was a sham rock.

When the TV repairman got married the reception was excellent.

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

"You're late!" Jane exclaimed.
"Sorry," replied Dick. "I was reading a book about anti-gravity; it was impossible to put down."

"Don't you have a clock?" Jane asked.
"It's gone missing." Dick responded. "I keep meaning to look for it, but I can never find the time."

An elderly woman was walking home from the supermarket. Her bag of groceries was especially heavy that day. When she saw Nathan Hale's Used Cars, she decided to stop and look at cars. As it happened, the owner himself approached her. He asked her what kind of car she wanted.

"Well," she said, "I can't remember the name exactly, but it has something to do with hate or anger."  The owner was quick to reply, "Oh yes, you want a Plymouth Fury! We have a few. What color would you like?"

The woman reached into her shopping bag and pulled out an ear of corn. She striped down the shucks and said, "I want this color."

Nathan replied, "Ma'am I'm sorry, but we don't have any in that color. How about a nice blue one?"

"No son," she said, "I want this color."

"But ma'am, they didn't make that color! Maybe a cherry red one?"

By this time, the old woman was mad and started throwing things at the owner.

Another salesmen noticed the disruption and asked the secretary what was going on. The secretary replied, "Apparently, Hale hath no Fury like the woman's corn!"

A geneticist worked for years on cloning and eventually learned to clone himself. Unfortunately, the clone he created was extremely rude.

One day, the scientist got tired of the clone's profuse swearing. He lost his temper and pushed the clone out a window.

The police arrested him for making an obscene clone fall.