SPOOF SPACE BY STEELE CODDINGTON | MAY 21, 2014
The fickle finger of fate
One meaning of the alliterative phrase The Fickle Finger of Fate is defined as "A series of very unlucky or unfortunate events." I must admit that increasingly my own image of The Fickle Finger is part of the current regime’s giant government hand displaying an obscene gesture at an over-taxed public still desperately looking for a job after six years of empty promises and demeaning programs to placate victims on their way down the road of life-long dependency. It's the same hand accompanied by a loud GOTCHA, announcing the latest government choke-hold on personal choices featured by a healthcare system so screwed up Castro's Cuba would be ashamed of it.
The giant hand is the symbol of hand-out-government and each finger is another incompetent Agency, Secretary, bureaucrat or Obama/Harry Reid toady appointed to fulfill other alliterative leftie objectives – Disturb, Divide, Diminish and Destroy, with their special talents for Malfeasance, Misfeasance and Nonfeasance. A recent Investors Business Daily newspaper editorial summed it up nicely: "America is a country of 320 million people, most of them holding to traditional values. Yet President Obama keeps mining the fringes for his hires. Does he have any friends who aren't crack-pots?” or, we could add, who aren't incompetent liberals who need a government job?
The State Department however, excels in a special category of diplomacy known as in-over-your-head! Extending the hand of apology to enemies who only respect strength, is worse than coming in last in the shot-put. Backgrounds as Community Organizer, or a Dork as Secretary of State, aren't exactly ideal qualifications for jobs that need a Henry Kissinger. However, after Russia's Putin heard about Obama's "open mike" faux-pas about more "flexibility," Putin quickly moved into the "flexible vacuum" and embarrassed the U.S. "Reset" President with personal ridicule, and out-maneuvered him in Syria, Crimea and Ukraine and the N.Y. Times.
But we've heard encouraging whispers that there is a secret U.S. retaliatory foreign policy initiative designed to over-come and repair the personal ridicule Putin has heaped on our president. The State Department initiative will turn the tables and embarrass Putin by engineering wide-spread use of Putin's name, intentionally misspelling it as "POO-TIN." The obvious insertion of POO, the State Department believes, will reveal him for what he really is and teach him a lesson for being so naughty.
Additionally, after seeing the widely circulated picture of "POO-TIN" riding a horse bare chested, the White House will be sending him a bra autographed by Liberace. The two diplomatic coups will be widely publicized by the major media applauding each one as a clever foreign policy success. Heads of NBC, ABC, CBS and MSNBC have reportedly agreed to be seen shaking hands with the president with one hand and waving a bra with the other.
In consideration for this display of presidential transparency Obama has agreed to delay nationalization of TV and newspapers. "Hell, they're already in our pocket," the President said, ripping off his shirt to show he that didn't need a bra.
And the Fickle Finger moves inexorably on to the next slight-of-hand!