FEBRUARY 19, 2014
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still do not know what time it is.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
There is great need for a sarcasm font.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.