OCTOBER 2, 2013
The dead crow mystery finally solved
Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu.
The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98 percent of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2 percent were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause:
When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah," not a single one could shout "Truck."
I forgot my glasses
Yesterday my daughter again asked why I didn't do something useful with my time in retirement.
My "doing something useful" seemed to be her topic in many of our conversations.
She was "only thinking of me" and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.
I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business.
I told her that I had joined a parachute club. She said, "Are you nuts? You’re 75 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
I proudly showed her I even got a membership card. She said to me, "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
I told her, "I'm in trouble again, and I don't know what to do ... I signed up for five jumps a week." She fainted.
Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it really can be fun.