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JULY 3, 2013

Children writing about the ocean – all you need to know

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This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
Kelly, age 6

Oysters' balls are called pearls.
Jerry, age 6

If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent.
Mike, age 7

Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more.
Kylie, age 6

A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head.
Billy, age 8

Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
Christopher, age 7

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans.
William, age 7

I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
Amy, age 6

When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.
Kevin, age 6

The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know.
Bobby, age 6

My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.
James, age 7