Spoof Space


Over the cliff with the lemmings

steele coddingtonThe phrase “going to hell in a hand-basket” is the latest description of the eroding financial condition of the United States. The implications of the country’s steady financial deterioration may soon be worsened by another credit down-grade.

But what is really frightening are the consequences that seem lost in the disarming hyperbole and phony reassurance about the state of the economy dreamed up by the debt-meister in the White House. When it becomes apparent that obfuscation is a part of the flawed character of a man who already holds a PhD in distortion, it’s easy to understand why he disguises his failure to grasp the inevitability of a debt catastrophe. The danger to the country is that the celebrity president, the attractively dressed nice guy who bounds confidently up the steps leading to a podium is an accomplished actor. A pretender, who has demonstrated an impressive ability to mesmerize the misguided zombies who believe and vote to implement the subversive, looney-tune litany of left-wing drivel he pontificates. Promising prudence yet practicing profligacy is his favorite game.

His audiences can’t see through the veneer, as described recently by an astute Peggy Noonan, again in a Wall Street Journal article headlined, “A bush-league president.” “Has anyone noticed how boring he is? Plonking platitude after plonking platitude?” And she cites the, “growing air of incompetence around Mr. Obama’s White House.”

He is however, a persuasive bully-pulpit puppet able to sway the emotions of the easily influenced. They, like the proverbial rodent lemmings, are ready to jump with him off a financial cliff without knowing they are unintentionally aiding and abetting in the suicide of a national economy and capitalist system.

The epic, on-going struggle for the soul of America is the certain collision of two forces, one political and the other economic, racing toward each other like two freight trains on the same track. One train is the Obama reelection campaign and its radical spending agenda epitomized by self-serving blame-game refusal to stop the bleeding.

The other train, the economy, contains so many sovereign debt booby traps that increasing numbers of financial analysts are sounding like the air-raid wardens warning citizens to “take shelter” in London during the WWII blitzes. Some of the alarms, in addition to the very real approaching credit down-grade, include serious efforts by foreign governments who, like never before in our history, are actively agitating for the establishment of a new global reserve currency. Objective? Dumping the U.S. dollar as the current world’s reserve currency.
Both Russia and China, as well as Arab states in the Gulf region are using our monumental national debt as a rational excuse to accomplish their goal. If that happens, the United States will find the real meaning of calamity. We won’t even be able to borrow money to finance our regular budget, let alone pay interest on our debt.

The question is whether The New York Times publication of leaks of U.S. participation in cyber attacks on Iran was purposely to make Obama look tough. We’ll know the answer to that if a picture of our president soon appears on the front page of The Times or on TV, riding a horse in the Rose Garden, shirtless like Vladimir Putin did before his election, trying to look tough. Will the major media, in his pocket, ask, “Has he lost his mind, or just his shirt?”

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Annual dementia test

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself.

If you said, bread, go to Question 2

2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World.

However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these???

If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.

4. Without using a calculator – You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, 3 people get off and 5 people get on. In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven. Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own age? It was YOU driving the bus!!

Puzzle Solutions