Spoof Space


Bookmark and Share

“Bassackwards” is a word ...

steeleIt’s amazing how recent news in the scientific world regarding a study of baboons provides a sliver of hope for people currently governed by liberal legislative majorities and/or heads of state. On the All Star list, and possible beneficiaries of the study, are financial basket cases like Argentina, Greece, Italy, Spain, California, Detroit and the rest of the United States. The sliver of hope is found in the conclusions of the latest scientific data published in the journal Science, revealing that baboons can distinguish real words to their advantage. Six baboons in the study were able to choose whether four letters were a real word or not a word. If they made the wrong choice, their failure was not rewarded. Success, picking the right word, put a tangible benefit in their hands.

What is exciting about this is the idea that if baboons can correctly distinguish words that work because they have a common sense meaning in their lives (they get fed if they pick correctly), then even the White House and Senate of the U.S. can learn to distinguish between words that work for the country and those that don’t.

Instead of Hopeless Harry Reid letting his Senate majority sit around scratching each others’ backs, chatting inane excuses for not passing a budget that could embarrass a do-nothing President, they could study words that don’t define failures like those created while they ruled both Houses of Congress and the Presidency. Words like “stimulus,” meaning “It didn’t work. It didn’t produce jobs.” If Ben the lead baboon in the study, was allowed to talk, he would point out that “Spend” is just a government word we refer to as the “baboon-spoon” – shoveling taxpayer money into programs that don’t work and don’t produce jobs. All it does is ‘spoon-up’ political pay-back for environmentalists and alternative energy debacles like Solyndra. Could we get different results by changing the word “spend” to “invest”? Didn’t one of the world’s smartest men define stupidity as “Doing things that don’t work over and over again and expecting different results?”

All my primate friends think that there is a word that defines most programs sponsored by Progressives Obama and Reid – it’s called “Bassackwards.” My grandmother explains the word as, “Hitching up the horse so he’s facing the wagon. It doesn’t work.” Another illustration that helps explain the word: “Let’s raise taxes on the rich, which includes a vast number of private sector business owners initially, and everyone eventually, to pay for excessive government spending!” Embarrassing fact: for the past 25 to 50 years when individual taxes have been raised, government revenues decline. When taxes were lowered, government revenue increased. Oh sorry, it’s about “fairness” not revenue?

The ugly question is who decides what is “fair”? Should we put our trust in a former community organizer whose social justice creed seems to embrace the idea that our problems are solved if we, “Take from those according to their ability and give to those according to their need.” Or are we better off with a written Constitution that for over 200 years has made the United States the greatest “experiment” for the pursuit of happiness and individual freedom the world has ever seen.

GBA banner
Bookmark and Share

These are very clever!

ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald’s
AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do
BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage
BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with
CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate
COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living
EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist
HEROES: What a guy in a boat does
LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money
MISTY: How golfers create divots
PARADOX: Two physicians!!
PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm
POLARIZE: What penguins see with
PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV!!
RELIEF: What trees do in the spring
RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife
SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does
SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government

Puzzle Solutions