Mullet Over

BY JAMES K. WHITE  | SEPTEMBER 14, 2011


Striking out for the umpteenth time

james k whiteAt least one egret has been observed luring fish by standing on one leg and fluttering the opposite foot on water surfaces.
Apparently a few fish believe the commotion is being caused by a distressed insect and come near to investigate. It then becomes mealtime for a very clever bird.

In 1876 a man named Seth Thomas devised a clock that would sit conveniently on a shelf, nightstand, etc. and sound an alarm at a preset time. This model became very popular. As a result, the lives (especially the wake-up habits) of many an Industrial Revolution worker and countless school children were significantly modified. The effect lingers.

Few could afford a Hoover Vacuum in 1908. Although surprisingly efficient at dirt removal, the device cost the equivalent of 1,437 of our 2010 dollars.

A group called N.E.D. must be one of the music industry’s more unusual rock bands. It is composed of six oncologists and the band members use their music venues to increase cancer awareness. N.E.D. (No Evidence of Disease) has released two albums.

Fans of professional baseball have likely noticed a tremendous increase in broken bats since maple wood has become the material of choice (1999) for baseball bats. Scientists and bat-makers recently combined efforts to assuage the problem and came up with an effective grain-staining procedure that makes flaws visually detectable. Those bats that do not have fibers within 3 degrees of “vertical” are not allowed. There has been an immediate 30 percent decrease in broken bats during major league games. The only bat I recall cracking was one I banged on the ground after striking out for the umpteenth time.

Most U.S. building elevators move up and down at speeds varying between one and six miles per hour. The elevators in Taiwan’s Taipei 101 top out at thirty-eight miles per hour. It is recommended that passengers do not carry hot coffee in open-topped containers.

For the last 50 years, domestic jet flights have been limited to maximum speeds of approximately 650 mph. The principal reason is to avoid sonic booms, which have been known to cause physical damage to property and emotional stress for people back on earth.
The FAA has banned all supersonic civilian air flights over the continental United States. This rule was at least partly responsible for the demise of the Concorde.

During the worst of the Black Death plague (14th century), it was recorded that the city of Cairo suffered an average of 21,000 fatalities per day. Well, be braced when riding certain Taiwanese elevators – and have a great week.

?James White is a retired mathematics teacher who enjoys sharing fascinating trivia. He can be reached at [email protected].

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God’s wife

An eye witness account from New York City, on a cold day in December, some years ago:
A little boy, about 10 years old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold.

A lady approached the young boy and said, 'My, but you're in such deep thought staring in that window!'

'I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,' was the boy's reply.

The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel.
He quickly brought them to her.

She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel.

By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes.

She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him. She patted him on the head and said, 'No doubt, you will be more comfortable now...'

As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her:

'Are you God's wife?'

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