Mullet Over

james k whiteBY JAMES K. WHITE  | MARCH 23, 2011

Words to the wise
(and otherwise)

Words to the wise (and otherwise): Some experts indicate that today’s smartphones are goldmines for “personal information” thieves. The electronic marvels are being infected with data-revealing viruses at twice the rate of our PCs. Most infections are introduced through added apps and are simply instructed to dial out and send all available files to predetermined sites.

Dermatologists divide our skin regions into three categories: oily, dry and moist. Each area has its own specialized bacteria with oily zones being where fewest bacterial varieties normally thrive.

The Sinai Peninsula may seem to be a dry, barren and almost unpopulated realm of our planet. However, throughout history this locale has been one of the most active expanses for human conflict. In the last 5,000 years at least 50 invading armies have either fought on the strip of land or used the region as a pathway to do battles in Africa and the Middle East.

Documents indicate French monarch King Louis XV had two secret diplomatic corps and each group knew nothing about the other. Often the two were supporting opposing factions of a controversy. This doomed scheme led to chaos in French foreign relations and likely planted seeds of discontent that led to the blood-stained French Revolution during the reign of Louis XVI.

For those with a special need, there is now a chainsaw that works efficiently under water. You can grab your scuba gear and use this powerful hydraulic device that comes with cutting bars up to 43 inches in length.

I find it sad that the U.S. Space Shuttle Program is scheduled to end soon. The launch rockets went from 0 to 17,000 mph in approx. 8.5 minutes. Upon take-off, solid fuel was consumed at the rate of 660,000 pounds per minute. The fuel supply was always ready before-hand as it appeared to be impractical to re-fuel during lift-off.

The usual rule in nature is that plants manufacture their own foods using photosynthesis and animals eat plants or other animals. However, more than 500 species of plants eat animals. The more famous members of this rooted carnivorous group include the Pitcher Plant and the Venus Fly Trap (not really from Venus).

In 1969, an electronics engineer from California devised a method to count cards and beat the Vegas boys at blackjack. The engineer had sound statistical data and an almost fool-proof system for betting, but the Casino folks loved him because he nearly always lost count and lost large sums of money as a result. Later on, successful people who proved better at counting were actually using much the same strategies as the 1969 guy. Well, be careful with those smartphones and have a great week.

James White is a retired mathematics teacher who enjoys sharing fascinating trivia. He can be reached at

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Puns for those with a higher IQ

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding - a case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give-away.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - taint yours and taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.