Spoof Space
BY STEELE CODDINGTON | AUGUST 4, 2010
Frankly, to see me is to
love me …
The nationally read conservative blog on Capitol Hill, Red State (RS), recently commented that, “The most dangerous place in America for a person to stand used to be between Al Sharpton and a television camera.” Using that comment as a reference point, it’s safe to report that a new TV hog champion has relegated Sharpton to bit player. Who is the new sensation? Turn on your TV and you can’t miss him – the newly designated Czar oriented, chairman ObaMao, doing what he does best, reading a teleprompter, trying to spin the meaning of economic failure into something that’s “Good for all Americans.”
A positive connection can be drawn between selling outhouses and liberal programs the public doesn’t want or need, by explaining that increasing your taxes is necessary to expand the number of government workers and to pay their outrageous salaries so they can evaluate who gets which entitlement benefits based on party registration, union membership, race or age (yes, your Medicare benefits). One positive consequence of TV exposure has been an immense renewal of the public’s fondness for reading.
Intellectuals, however, like to acknowledge an amazing analogy linking our newest pontificating TV activist with the ancient Oracle of Delphi, Pythia. The reigning priestess of and intermediary for the other Oracles, whose prophecies comprised of unintelligible verbalizations were translated by the other priests into mysterious prognostications to make them appear wise in spite of their vacuous content. Recent scientific research on the excavations at the site of the Temple of Delphi in Greece has determined that the oracular powers of Pythia were caused by ethylene gas vapors leaking from fissures beneath the Temple. The effects of the ethylene gas, according to Wikipedia include, “physical detachment ... confusion, agitation, delirium and loss of muscle coordination,” – muscle referring to the organ, brainwashed by government handouts, that formerly functioned as the brain.
Presidents of the U.S. in the past, while often using the radio or TV as their bully pulpit, were smart enough to realize that over exposure of a questionably honest face, known as a politician, can lead to personal resentment, especially when accompanied by oft repeated half truths or manufactured claims of dubious believability. But certain individuals imbued with narcissistic character flaws are arrogantly convinced that, “The more they see me, the more they can’t resist loving me.” Unfortunately, based on reliable public opinion polls, that sort of delusion isn’t winning converts – especially when compounded by the simple conclusion that none of the ObaMao gospel has ever worked anywhere.
If seen too often, a salesman whose products don’t work finds that customers associate his face with his lousy products. And the only reason they tolerate it is because it gives them joy to imagine it as a window they’d love to throw bricks at. Sadly, in today’s world, the duped, doped and disgusted can dispel the failures they see on TV that depress them with a click of a remote. Escape technology like the TV remotes can remove the instant discomfort of rogue regimes, but the Brainwash Brigade known as NBC, CBS, ABC and MSNBC pursues them relentlessly initiating their opening dialogue with words like “frankly” – which as Michelle Malkin recently observed, “When a politician starts a sentence with ‘frankly,’ he’s about to lie in your face.” The same admonishment applies to liberal TV stations when they say, “good morning” or “good evening.”
How did Jefferson know?
John F. Kennedy held a dinner in the White House for a group of the brightest minds in the nation at that time. He made this statement: "This is perhaps the assembly of the most intelligence ever to gather at one time in the White House with the exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone."
Here are some of Jefferson’s observations:
When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe.
The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.
It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world.
I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.
The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
Your Horoscope by Madame Bournard
ARIES (MAR. 21 - APRIL 19)
It is a good time to rethink thoughts about which you have been indecisive – now is the time to move ahead. You should work better with your partner; be supportive.
TAURUS (APR. 20 – MAY 20)
You are jittery about things lately. Release more of your personality and show your positive side with others more often.
GEMINI (MAY 21 –JUNE 20)
You had better work harder getting along with that special someone. You’re not always at your best when you become stubborn and hard to deal with. Lighten up!
CANCER (JUN 21 – JULY 22)
Something new may soon open up for you; things need to happen to put your life back on track. Look for new possibilities. Visit friends, have lunch.
LEO (JULY 23- SEPT. 22)
It is not a good time to be stubborn about things. Step up and do the right thing. Take responsibility rather than expect everything to be done for you.
VIRGO (AUG. 23 –AUG 22)
Remain quiet at work; let things play out. Management will not change so don’t waste your breath. At home you feel best, because you can control your destiny.
LIBRA (SEPT. 24- OCT.23)
Summer has been enjoyable for you, even with the hot weather. Time with family and friends has helped your mood. Now you need to get going on new projects.
SCORPIO (OCT. 23- NOV. 21)
You can’t wait until fall – it has been a rough summer for you in more ways than you care to think about. Try to do some things that will please your significant other.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22- DEC. 21)
Something that’s been a long time coming may soon arrive on your life scene. Expect the unexpected; times are changing so be ready for whatever comes your way.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22- JAN 19)
New changes are coming into your life; some good, some may not be as good. Try to indulge people around you a little more than usual. You may need a confidant.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20- FEB. 18)
Times are tough for you lately; you are having a difficult time making decisions about your future. You need to be realistic and make a decision, one way or another.
PISCES (FEB. 19- MAR. 20)
The time is good to think of improving your mind, either take a course to learn something to help your career, or take a class you’ll really enjoy. Either way, do something constructive.
