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Gorilla-man syndrome …

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The Man-in-the-street interviews occasionally conducted by Jay Leno are both funny and disturbing. Like your kid bringing home an F on his report card for sex education. The interviews are funny because of the embarrassing inability of ordinary looking ding-bats, who look just as smart as we do, to answer simple questions with patently obvious answers.

Is it the unbelievable display of ignorance that makes us laugh? Maybe it’s the sense of relief that comes with seeing someone else getting caught with their proverbial pants down that induces our joy at escaping. Or maybe it’s not the clumsy fumbling around of the person trying to answer, but the question itself that’s amusing. There’s a great game for kids – make up questions for a Man-in-the-street interview.

Here’s one my grandmother, an avid Washington Redskins fan made up:

“Which one of these events happen every year at 0, Pennsylvania?
The annual NFL draft?
Annual recognition day of the original Redskins HOGS?
Annual naked “show yourself” hog event?
Annual naked pigskin football kick contest?”

Such interviews are “disturbing” because if the persons we’ve seen being interviewed are representative of the general public’s IQ, you hope like hell it’s not an indication of the level to which our national consciousness has sunk. It could undermine our educational focus on geography and sex education. But even worse, the older you are and the more you watch TV, the more convinced you become that humans aren’t half as smart as animals – which is why intelligent writers so often consort with animals or become friends with saguaros or rocks who hold conversations that if not intelligent are at least interesting, provided you understand their idiosyncrasies.

It’s extremely important to know your subject when dealing with a living thing like a rock or a cactus or a gorilla. For example, The Christian Science Monitor’s new magazine, Monitor, published some particular caveats about dealing with any one of the remaining gorillas in the Congo who are easily offended by humans:

Do not eat or drink in front of a gorilla
Do not point at them with your finger
Do not use a flash camera
Do not touch them
Do not go to the bathroom facing a gorilla
Do not look a gorilla in the eye

Gorillas will put up with a lot, but if they feel offended or if they are being taken advantage of, they might tear your head off. It’s strangely analogous to politics in the U.S. where many taxpayers are feeling like they are the gorillas and the progressive regime in D.C. is facing them, committing the second to last gorilla no-no. Hope they aren’t surprised when we gorillas hand them their heads.

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Stand-up comedians on Obama 


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Stand-up comedians, more than any other group, have their fingers in the wind, accurately detecting which way it is blowing.

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
~ Jay Leno

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
~ Jay Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
~ Conan O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
~ Jay Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
~ David Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
~ Jimmy Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
~ Jimmy Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95 percent of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
~ David Letterman

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Your Horoscope by Madame Bournard

ARIES (MAR. 21 - APRIL 19)
This week see if you can find any bargains – something you need, but with a big savings. In the workplace you have your eye on details, which helps you do a good job.

TAURUS (APR. 20 – MAY 20)
The New Moon brings you some extra money and helps pay off some debt. Maybe toward the middle of the month you can tackle a project at home.

The stars this week bring you much family joy and good times; you may catch up with one of your siblings. You may receive some good information from an older friend.

Coming up the end of this week or next your ESP will be sharpened. You will be enlightened with some interesting news. It is a good time to get your way.

LEO (JULY 23- SEPT. 22)
You may be invited to a party that turns out to be quite fun. If you’re single you will meet some fascinating people. You really feel attractive inside and out.

VIRGO (AUG. 23 –AUG 22)
You may hear some good news concerning your career and feel a bit of relief. There may be light at the end of the tunnel. You will be moving in the right direction in life.

LIBRA (SEPT. 24- OCT.23)
When making vacation plans consider that it will be a good time to catch up with family or friends. Also with Venus entering your sign this is a good time for networking.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23- NOV. 21)
You may be heading out on a nature retreat or a family reunion. Either way, it is a good time to energize yourself and have fun.

Travel and/or education possibilities are ahead for you. Suddenly there can be new opportunities coming your way that will broaden your horizons.

Smart shopping can help you buy some things and at the same time put worries behind you. Talk to family members about upcoming plans and share ways to cut costs.

If you are married, you will feel a renewed magic in your relationship; life is good. If you are single, the middle of month may be a good time to meet that special someone.

PISCES (FEB. 19- MAR. 20)
As this month begins you are entering new territory and issues around you will become much clearer. That nagging real estate business will finally come to an end.