BY STEELE CODDINGTON | MAY 26, 2010
Spoof Space's patriotic history
Spoof Space was founded during the Revolutionary War by a well known revolutionary army colonel named Dr. Americus Spoof. The first name, for enlightenment of history-lite students in today’s union-heavy government workers’ paradise, was taken from the Italian explorer Americus Vespucius, a man who made four different voyages to the new continent around the time Columbus discovered it. Because Vespucius came in first in a spaghetti eating contest, he was honored by having the new continent named America, after him.
Another slice of Americana: the most famous food in this country was named after Americius’ daughter, Pizza. A difficult child whose mother was often heard yelling at her daughter, “Don’t Pizza me off, you little brat.” I’m sure you have heard a variation of that phrase many times, mentioned in many child psychology books on how to handle children with tolerance and loving care, so you don’t destroy their self worth or pizza them off.
Well, back to Dr. Spoof, who earned George Washington’s admiration and respect for crossing the Delaware with him on Dec. 25, 1776. Dr. Spoof became a political writer and chronicler of the American Revolution. His observations on life at that time were published in the Spoof Space International which weeded out incompetent idiots in government. That heritage continues on to this day in Spoof Space, published exclusively in Sonoran News of Cave Creek, Arizona.
A specialty of today’s Spoof Space is in the intellectual pursuit of the truth by uncovering the phony use of words and phrases which are regularly employed by radicals, political imposters and government manipulated press and TV to brain-wash a gullible U.S. The subversive weapons used are obfuscation of information through distortion, deception and prevarication.
Some illustrative examples of government-speak euphemizations followed by the real meanings are:
Political correctness: a form of moral cowardice that goes hand-in-hand with relative morality.
Relative morality: a liberal excuse for no guts.
Social justice: a euphemistic phrase used to disguise programs that undermine religious belief, legitimize redistribution of wealth and eviscerate the U.S. Constitution.
Crisis spending: idiotic excuses for expenditures that have the opposite effect on the economy than the lies describing why we need to print the money to finance the programs that don’t work, with money we don’t have.
Stimulus, job bills: payback slush funds for SEIU, AFL-CIO, ACORN, union pensions, trial lawyers and government owned car companies.
Democrat party: socialist workers party.
Reduction of defense budget: usually urged to facilitate peace and improve the world’s respect for the U.S. The real, radical object is removal of our national testicles, leaving two options: apologize because we are such a bad country or count on the U.N. as protectors of our national security.
Repeal Arizona’s unjust, discriminatory law SB 1070: Arizona must recognize that it is its responsibility to make life better for illegal immigrants, historically resistant to assimilation, who cost the state’s taxpayers millions in medical care, incarceration costs, welfare, social security and all the other privileges past generations of immigrants were proud to earn in a free society.
Americans, if you aren’t pizza’d off you should be.
A new minister was walking with an older, more seasoned minister in the garden one day.
Feeling a bit insecure about what God had for him to do, he was asking the older preacher for some advice.
The older preacher walked up to a rosebush and handed the young preacher a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing off any petals.
The young preacher looked in disbelief at the older preacher and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the will of God for his life and ministry.
But because of his great respect for the older preacher, he proceeded to try to unfold the rose, while keeping every petal intact.
It wasn't long before he realized how impossible this was to do.
Noticing the younger preacher's inability to unfold the rosebud without tearing it, the older preacher began to recite the following poem ...
"It is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of God's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine."
"The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
GOD opens this flower so easily,
But in my hands they die."
"If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of God's design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?"
"So I'll trust in God for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to God for guidance
In each step of the way."
"The path that lies before me,
Only my Lord knows.
I'll trust God to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose."
Your Horoscope by Madame Bournard
ARIES (MAR. 21 - APRIL 19)
Be cautious this week, watch your funds and don’t take any chances. Be tolerant of others’ attitudes and viewpoints.
TAURUS (APR. 20 – MAY 20)
Relationship trials are on the horizon; a jealousy matter may draw your attention. The Full Moon will illuminate your kindness to others.
GEMINI (MAY 21 –JUNE 20)
Selfish motives come to light. You are in a restless mood; Geminis tend to be restless and changeable. Face your obligations and check your health.
CANCER (JUN 21 – JULY 22)
Keep a keen eye on valuables. It’s not a good time for shopping. Take a stand on your future workplace direction.
LEO (JULY 23- SEPT. 22)
Save your money; you may need it. Put only domestic work around the house at the top of your list. Pleasure and entertainment come to you.
VIRGO (AUG. 23 –AUG 22)
Emotions run wild this week; everything is coming to a head at work. With all your woes it is a good time to spend with people you enjoy.
LIBRA (SEPT. 24- OCT.23)
Friends may be somewhat demanding. It’s not a good time for borrowing money or making financial commitments. Being diplomatic always works for you.
SCORPIO (OCT. 23- NOV. 21)
Your Scorpio Moon pushes you in the right direction to pursue your goals. Don’t be too pushy; you don’t want to see a fight ahead.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22- DEC. 21)
You feel hemmed in by circumstances; keep a low profile. Getting things off your chest may help release some pressure this week.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22- JAN 19)
Play it smart when it comes to office politics; don’t get suckered in by people with a different agenda. A new secret project comes to a head.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20- FEB. 18)
Emotions can get out of hand this week; selfish interests may not be appreciated. Anxious feelings may cause more truth to be spoken than you’re ready to hear.
PISCES (FEB. 19- MAR. 20)
Avoid any unnecessary trips this week. You can achieve more success if you listen to others and communicate intensely with people around you.