Becky Fenger | November 25, 2009
Turkeys of the Year
Each year at Thanksgiving, we are treated to the warm and fuzzy Presidential pardoning of a turkey in a ceremony that spares the big bird the chopping block and assures a fat and lazy life for him (sort of like the Guantanamo prisoners who are shipped to a tropical island and given a beachfront home at taxpayer expense).
There's such a big flock of turkeys this year in the political arena that it's difficult to choose the Turkeys of the Year:
Thanks to Wall Street Journal, who labeled the latest health care bill in Congress the "worst bill ever," it's an easy pick for the biggest turkey. As they wrote on Nov. 2: "Expensive new mandates on businesses will result in lost jobs, lower wages, less flexibility and higher health care costs." I don't stand in line for a restaurant meal, and I'm darned sure not going to like the rationed portions of this health care pie.
A close second place should go to U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder for granting Khalid Sheikh Mohammed his fondest wish: a civilian trial in New York City from which to broadcast to the world the dastardly deeds of Satan America and to sing the praises of jihad. Not to mention our being forced to divulge classified material to the terrorists. Holder has assured us, contrary to how our justice system works, that Khalid will be found guilty! And this fixed outcome is going to show the universe how fair Americans are? The mind boggles.
U. S. Treasury Secretary and tax cheat Tim Geithner, stymied by the intricacies of TurboTax, certainly qualifies for a turkey award. "Business Insider" points out: " A year ago it was revealed to the American people that our banking system is a legalized Ponzi scheme in which bank and insurance CEOs pay themselves billions of dollars in personal compensation to lend and insure assets with money they don't have to customers who can't pay back the loans."
The "Gizzard of the Year" award is going to the man who came up to my friend's door on Halloween night, emptied all the candy in her outdoor bowl into his pillowcase, then rang the doorbell and nastily yelled at her, "You're out of candy!" His kids witnessed the whole thing.
ACORN (The Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now) hasn't a kernel of credibility after they have been exposed in state after state for voter fraud and cheating the government (you and me) out of money. ACORN needs to be creamed. The few Congressmen who voted to continue giving taxpayer money to the corrupt ACORN are beyond shame.
Chicago Mayor Richard Daley "reached a new low in his attempt to blame the Fort Hood massacre on firearms," the Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms declared. Equally onerous is former President Bill Clinton who in 1993 instituted a ban on the carrying of firearms by military personnel on their own bases! Are you kidding me? Army bases are gun-free zones? I'll bet you a pumpkin pie that few Americans know about this.
A big turkey waddle goes to Al Gore who Photoshopped NASA's imagery of the earth to use to illustrate his new book, "Our Choice: A Plan to Solve the Climate Crisis." Nothing short of massive scientific fraud has been foisted on the public in order to pass the golden goose of Cap and Tax and Trade legislation intended to ration energy and redistribute wealth.
Finally, a whole shovelful of bird droppings goes to the 37th Annual Music Awards held in L.A. So many words were bleeped from a duet by Eminem and 50 Cent that it came out sounding like Morse Code, although Rihanna gave them a run for their foul mouths. Nothing could touch the spectacle shoved in our faces by Adam Lambert, however. The costumes were pure sadomasochistic. Women were dragged around the floor by their open legs and were writhing in heaps. Men were strapped in harnesses and whipped. Even Janet Jackson engaged in crotch touching in her opening number, but what Lambert did with his crotch is not for a community newspaper, despite the fact that the awards were aired in prime time on ABC-TV.
A talk-show caller who mixed up his "blooming" metaphors proclaimed, "I was just wondering if you thought the smell was starting to wear off the rose here," referring to Barack Obama. That might well be, but I'd just as soon knock all the stuffing out of these turkeys.