Words ... spell truth

By Steele Coddington | October 7, 2009

steele coddingtonGod bless America. God bless the English language. We speak it here occasionally. Or a close derivation thereof. Maybe it’s reasonable to suggest that many of the words we use are kind of like rotgut* whiskey – a beverage with an authentic whiskey genealogy, but as my grandfather says, “Tastes like s—t!” A strange analogy I admit, but the word rotgut is just one of those magnificently descriptive words in the language that is used to zero in on the brutal truth, even if it tastes bad.

Individual words can be blockbusters, especially relevant to today’s screw-ups in American foreign relations. For example, feckless* meaning “incompetent or ineffectual” as used by our own allies and best friends to describe the decisions the U.S. has made in dealing with Iran. Stripped of the diplomatic b.s., it means “weak” and is a truthful assessment of a shamefully inept foreign policy.

As the President orates at the U.N., Putin, Ahmadinejad, Chavez, North Korea and China (who owns us) clap their hands gleefully encouraging the free world’s anointed one as he leads his country into oblivion in a totally unattainable “nuclear free world.” Encouraged by the approbation of thugs intent on America’s demise, our delusionary, self-infatuated one makes several bold moves best described as pusillanimous*.

As Iran’s nuclear facilities and delivery systems reach fait accompli status, we bravely slap their bad little wrists by canceling plans for missile defense systems in Poland and Czechoslovakia for defense of Eastern Europe. We cut missile defense in the 2010 budget by $1.4 billion and reduce by one half the funding for ground-based Midcourse Defense systems to intercept long range missiles. A psychiatrist would diagnose that course of action as evidence of a national suicide syndrome.

A recent editorial headline in the Washington Times newspaper read “The worst foreign policy ever ...” and went on to use another appropriate word to describe America’s foreign policy: “In the Middle East, Mr. Obama’s unprecedented obsequiousness* in dealing with the Muslim world has generated no tangible returns.” Even liberal columnist Richard Cohen, Washington Post Writers group criticized the President for “appearing promiscuously on television and granting interviews like the presidential candidate he no longer is,” Another choice Cohen line that Obama needs to remember when dealing with Iran was, “These Persians lie like a rug.” If it takes one to know one, Obama should be prepared.

But we do have one brilliant foreign policy victory. We didn’t back down on Honduras. “By God, they staged a coup d’etat.” We righteously cut off $30 million in aide to the poorest country in the hemisphere even though they clearly abided by their own constitution. Another lesson on how to make America a laughing stock.

Here’s another important word ... pphhfftt*. You say it by putting your tongue between your lips and blowing out. For all the left wing teachers, here’s the new Obama song for your student indoctrination exercises on behalf of our President ...

“We don’t like your foreign policy a bit.

Here’s what we really think of it ... pphhfftt!”

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Creative puns for "educated minds"

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

A backward poet writes inverse.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother called to ask how he was doing a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your Count that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!