A Change Of Pace
SpoofSpace
Wine and its place in history
By Steele Coddington| September 17, 2008
“Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake.” That compelling observation was made either by Aphrodite, Ben Franklin or Carrie Nation or maybe all of them. Because thousands of students read this column, my research staff and I try to authenticate any references to names mentioned herein. For other than English major students, “herein” means “in here.” But confirming the complexity of the language, “herein” is also often used by older individuals who are slightly deaf, or “deef” in the colloquial. For example, “I’m not herein’ too good today,” or as advice my grandfather used to impart, “Never break wind within the herein’ distance of your grandma or anybody else with any couth.”
So, students, Aphrodite was the ancient Greek goddess of love and beauty who drank wine right out of the bottle and stripped at the drop of a cork. She introduced the Aphro hair style and posed for naked statues all over Greece. Ben Franklin signed our Declaration of Independence and was the first American to say, “Go fly a kite.” He discovered electricity, told General Electric how to make light bulbs and drank wine from a goblet. Carrie Nation was a temperance leader in the early 1900’s who made her own wine so she could get her husband smashed so he wouldn’t raise hell about her marching around telling people to quit drinking.
Each of them in their own peculiar way had an influence on how squashed grapes are enjoyed, naked or clothed, that led to the unprecedented popularity of wine today. We don’t really need any good health reasons to be oenologically inspired to partake of wine, but in fact, not a day goes by without some study touting the health benefits of wine. The latest from the University of California, San Diego, says that a glass of wine a day will cut your chances of getting fatty liver disease by 50 percent. I believe them, and since the government has established that many of us are considered obese these days, there are probably a lot of fatty livers out there that might benefit from a glass of wine each day.
There’s something comforting in knowing that the medicinal aspects of wine are adding positively to your health as you savor a glass while contemplating your navel – if you, like Aphrodite, are drinking it in the nude. But substantively speaking, the enjoyment of wine rises above the presence or absence of clothing, even if you’re lucky enough to be drinking with Aphrodite.
For example, Dorothy J. Gaiter and John Brecher, aficionados, wine lovers and regular wine columnists for The Wall Street Journal described the just released 2005 Bordeaux by Chateau Latour in Pauilliac as “profound wine, with a gorgeous ruby color, intense complex nose, tremendous focus and purity of taste, and a finish like a long drum roll. Impeccably made.” Almost as good a description of Sarah Palin’s speech at the Republican convention. But the bottle cost them $1,950. Since that is out of my league, I can only find partial consolation at Starbucks which, for example, describes its Asia Pacific Blend of coffee for about $12 as “Full bodied and earthy with herbal undertones.” “Gee, that sounds just like me,” I tell my wife. “Did it say anything about dirty socks and underwear?” she dryly responded.
OK, just for that I think I’ll have a glass of wine with Aphrodite. She doesn’t mind dirty socks.
Did you know ...
DID YOU KNOW?
As you walk up the steps to the Building which houses the U S Supreme Court You can see near the top of the building a row of the world's law givers and each one is facing one in the middle who is facing forward with a full frontal view ... It is Moses and he is holding the Ten Commandments!
DID YOU KNOW?
As you enter the Supreme Court courtroom, the two huge oak doors have the Ten Commandments engraved on each lower portion of each door.
DID YOU KNOW?
As you sit inside the courtroom, you can see the wall, right above where the Supreme Court Judges sit, a display of the Ten Commandments!
DID YOU KNOW?
There are Bible verses etched in stone all over the Federal Buildings and Monuments in Washington, D.C.
DID YOU KNOW?
James Madison, the fourth president, known as 'The Father of Our Constitution' made the following statement:
“We have staked the whole of all our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God.'
DID YOU KNOW?
Patrick Henry, that patriot and Founding Father of our country said:
“It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded not by religionists but by Christians, not on religions but on the Gospel of Jesus Christ'.
DID YOU KNOW?
Every session of Congress begins with a prayer by a paid preacher, whose salary has been paid by the taxpayer since 1777.
DID YOU KNOW?
Fifty-two of the 55 founders of the Constitution were members of the established Orthodox churches in the colonies.
DID YOU KNOW?
Thomas Jefferson worried that the Courts would overstep their authority and instead of interpreting the law would begin making law an oligarchy the rule of few over many.
DID YOU KNOW?
The very first Supreme Court Justice, John Jay, said: “Americans should select and prefer Christians as their rulers.'
How then, have we gotten to the point that everything we have done for 220 years in this country is now suddenly wrong and unconstitutional?
It is said that 86 percent of Americans believe in God. Therefore, it is very hard to understand why there is such a mess about having the Ten Commandments on display or 'In God We Trust' on our money and having God in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don't we just tell the other 14 percent to Sit Down and SHUT UP!!!